I'm disrespectful to dirt!

I can't even do laundry like a normal person! Because every time I go to use my "Super Washing Soda" I INSTANTLY think of that Simpsons episode where Homer finds out that his likeness is being used for a Japanese detergent called Mr. Sparkle.

And because I'm slightly OCD about the whole thing, I have to yell, "Mr. Sparklllllllllle" the way that it sounds on the commercial every time too.

I usually go for it full volume if nobody is home.

But when we have guests, as we do currently, I sometimes wonder if they are hiding their valuables after they hear the crazy lady in the laundry closet whispering a long drawn out, "Mr. Sparklllllle" to herself in a Japanese accent.

They go to bed at night and they're like, "Audrey really likes to do laundry."

"Yeah, plus I think she might be a little bit racist."

Yes. These are the things I worry about.