All Caught Up on "The Hobbit" Pre-Premiere Goodies?

Photo Courtesy: TheOneRing.net - Friend them on
facebook, visit the page often. They will have the
best and most detailed coverage of just about everything.
You should be! The big event approacheth! In case you missed anything, click on the links below. And just so you know, I fully expect you all to read the book (Again, I trust.) before you see the movie. Until then...

Check out photos from the premiere in Wellington on TheOneRing.net's Facebook page!

Watch all of the Production Diaries on Peter Jackson's YouTube account!

The premiere streamed live from Wellington, but stick close to TheOneRing.net, they may have edited video from the premiere available soon. 


Famous Movie Sweaters and other cold-weather nonsense

I was in Indiana last weekend. I'm so spoiled by the gorgeous Florida weather that I forgot you need, what are those called again? Oh yeah, COATS in the Mid-West.

So we stopped by Old Navy and Dad and I went halfsies on a heavy-duty sweater I could use as a coat. Seems normal enough, eh?

Not a giant Old Navy store. Photo taken in airport before departure.

 I bought it for two reasons.

1. It was nice and warm and on sale. You know, normal people reasons.


2. It looked like a hybrid of,




So, I guess I have early nineties fashion coming back around to thank for my cozy giant fluffy sweater?

I once saw, I kid you not, an exact replica of the Dude's sweater. Patterning and everything. It was in an upscale clothing boutique at Downtown Disney. It was WAY too expensive. But movie prop-wise, I couldn't believe that of all places, it was in a WOMEN'S clothing store and that I found it at Downtown Disney. But it was crazy expensive. Too expensive, we decided, to actually buy.

Then I went home and looked for it online and found that the price we thought was too high was actually pretty low for Dude-sweater replicas. But still...who can justify spending that much money on a movie replica of something? (Me someday if I win the lottery. AFTER charitable donations and buying everyone in my family a private jet, of course.)

Either way, I have a comfy new sweater and a brain that won't quit. So that's neat.


God, Perfectenschlag and Piano Drops

"The Shrutes have a word for when everything in a man's life comes together perfectly."

I'm a little superstitious about saying so, but I may have accidentally started to orbit around "perfectenschlag" myself. (The first definition.) Which I have to say, is a brand new feeling for me. I used to think of God as the great Looney Tunes animator in the sky, always waiting to drop a piano on me the second I thought things might be going okay. I even had a pastor in college tell me once, "You have got to let go of being so superstitious, God doesn't work like that." 

But I was raised by a clown. Which complicated things in the BEST kind of way. Comedy brain is totally different than regular-person brain. Comedy-brain is always waiting for the punchline and will create one even when it's not there. 

So it's not that I ever thought God was out to get me specifically...I think there's another, more medical term for that. It's just that I really lived by the Yiddish proverb, "Man makes plans and God laughs." 

It kind of became an excuse to self-sabotage. "If God laughs while I make plans, why make any plans at all?" Ot at least, why make any that are actually attainable? How about just wallowing in that warm and comforting, fangirl-crazed, early-eighties, "You can be anything!" nostalgia instead of taking small steps and moving forward? 

But I know better now. 

See, that would be the piano-drop moment. right after you declare that you have it all figured out. 

(Have you read Tina Fey's "Bossypants"? She has a great anecdote about a fire on a cruise ship. Amidst the chaos and life jackets, there was a lady asking for a Diet Coke instead of a regular from a steward passing out drinks and how if God had any sense of humor, the ship would've blown up precisely the moment after the woman asked for the diet instead. But I digress...) 

Things are actually going really well in my life right now, despite some ups and downs. If I don't record what's happening, the moment may pass without me acknowledging it. I have a long and delightful (to others) history of obliviousness. 

I am the girl who accidentally walked in front of a parade at the Magic Kingdom for like three minutes once, as though I was some disoriented, plain-clothes parade marshall. It didn't even occur to me that the music was really loud and there were people lined up on the sides of the street. What did I do? I just sang along and kept on walking, thinking everyone around me was just being really positive and life-affirming because everyone at Disney World is really happy to be on vacation.

So you'll forgive me if I list for the sake of record-keeping...


My Year As A Theme Park Correspondent

I'm thinking of a quote. It's very lofty and intellectual-from a movie called Tommy Boy. It goes, "Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman."

Except replace "salesman" with "theme park correspondent".

For a year, from July 2011 to August 2012, I wrote, directed and edited for a local theme park TV show in Orlando, Florida. Every once in a while, I had to fill in for one of our professional hosts.

Have you ever wondered, "Can Audrey apply her own makeup, do her own hair, or act like a normal human being for any decent stretch of time?" Stop wondering. The video evidence is here. And the answer is no...but I sure had fun trying.

And I know...we're all our own worst critics. I'm sort of half joking about thinking I'm the worst. Performance sometimes comes naturally to me, I just don't see myself as a leading lady, main host type. Maybe I would've felt better if I had hair and makeup people. I consider myself more of the best friend/sidekick/character actor/ugly-herself-up-for-a-joke-on-SNL archetype.

If you've ever had to sit through watching yourself on video, you understand the auto-cringe function in my brain. I'm actually super proud of the year on this gig and wouldn't change it for the world.

What I Could've Said Was This

I seem to write a ton of blogs where I'm just sort of mentally meandering, trying to justify the fact that I'm STILL wrestling with what I want to be when I grow up. But I probably could've summed it up by just posting this:

If I am Script and Tape, what are you?

I've been trying to quit journalism cold turkey. It's tough. The allure and sheen of pitching a piece, scheduling an interview, conducting it, transcribing it, drafting it, re-drafting it and ultimately seeing it on the shiny magazine page (or hearing it on the radio) is a tough habit to break.

Slapping together an 800 word editorial piece where you get to be quippy and funny and topical is addictive. You can mold it and shape it for a few days, zap it away and feel GOOD about yourself.

"Look what I did. I did that. That's me. I belong in this book store, at the magazine rack. I am a gear in this beautiful, book-smelling, coffee-filled, nicely organized-by-topic machine." I used to wander the Barnes and Noble and the Borders Bookstores of the Mid-West.  I'd count the magazines I was in all at once. But to me, that was something. To me, a 400-word piece about the death of Ben Chapman or musings on the burning of an animatronic King Kong and I was practically Sir Arthur Conan Doyle celebrating his first story in The Strand.

So why would I ever quit?