Oh Rifftrax, I Wish I Could Quit You

Because not only are you awesome all the time. (You know how I love you just for being you.) But you also post totally random hilarious things on the facebook...like this five hour video of Michael Sheen's laugh from today in honor of your upcoming Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 live riff.

You are the Kip to my LaFawnda. Metaphorically speaking, of course.


What Have We Here? An Interview with Batgirl's Therapist...

Dr. Letamendi in Batgirl #16
(by Gail Simone, art by Ed Benes)
One of my favorite journalists strikes again with this excellent interview over at NERDSPAN.com


There are also some good trails you could follow here to continue the "fake geek" conversation we started in this week's podcast.

I'm a big fan of Batgirl: Year One but am currently WAY behind on my comic consumption. So in addition to being an awesome interview, this also motivated me to plan my next trip to Heroes Landing.

It's within walking distance from my home...coincidence? I think not!

Fundamental Life Truth brought to you by The Sound of Music

"Maria, these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live." 

                       - Mother Abbess. "The Sound of Music"

I've written, deleted, and rewritten a dozen entries about the topic of faith and how it intersects with my geekdom. But I can never seem to hit that big scary "publish" button. I've done some stuff for the Burnside Writers Collective before, but that was mostly parody.

The most I can muster today is this Fundamental Life Truth. The walls of "the abbey", metaphorically speaking, are not to be used for hiding. (Or literally, you know...if you live in an abbey.) 

I've heard a lot of people use God as an excuse lately. People of faith know how to say all the right things sometimes. Stuff like, "Don't hide your light under a bushel," and so forth. But they, we, also know how to suffer silently for no good reason because we're afraid of doing what we're called to do.

But you can't seek approval from anyone else in regards to what you really really REALLY want to do with your life. You just have to do it. Stop hiding. Stop preparing. Just go. Be who you feel like you're supposed to be and stop seeking approval from others. You may never get it. 

What problems aren't you facing today? What life were you born to live? Are you living it? 

Mush you huskies! No more verklemptedness. GO LIVE!!!!!!!


Role Models - Aron Talks Admiral Adama

*A special welcome to new honorary raving fangirl, Aron Deppert! This is his first blog here. Check out his bio by clicking on the "Honorary Raving Fangirls" tab up top or visit his home base at AronDeppert.com.*

I grew up on a very strict television diet which mostly consisted of sketch comedy shows, occasional BBC sitcoms shown on PBS, lots of Star Trek: The Next Generation and its subsequent spin-offs. If you had asked me a few months ago who was the most admirable commanding officer of an intergalactic vessel, I would have said Captain Katherine Janeway of Star Trek: Voyager.

Don't get me wrong, Janeway is still at the tippy top of my list, but since recently binging on the entire rebooted Battlestar Galactica series I most definitely have to say she is closely tied with Galactica's commanding officer, Admiral Bill Adama. Here are a few of the qualities that make me feel like he is incredibly awesome.

Perseverance As Adama and his flock set out on their journey they had quite a few big roadblocks (spaceblocks maybe?) in their way. The first, and probably biggest one, was that no one was sure the planet they were seeking actually existed. As far as this ragtag group of humans was concerned, the place called “Earth” was just a myth that they had read about in their religious texts. Adama knew that despite this, they would need a proverbial carrot to motivate them so he bought into the Earth myth as a morale booster.

Also, while they were on this wild goose chase through space they had a fleet of religious fanatic, killer, human-hating robots hot on their tail. These robots, known as Cylons, not only outnumbered them, but out-gunned the humans. Adama not only thought of some ingenious ways to get the upper hand, but he never once relented in his quest to find a planet he didn't even initially believe in.

One look at this mug and
I'd be down for the count!
A booming, gruff voice It may sound as though Bill Adama gargled with a jug of hydrochloric acid before he started work each day, but that voice seriously works to his advantage. When he's barking orders in the CIC or interrogating a captive Cylon, Adama's voice is one that demands respect and attention. A growling reprimand delivered to an insubordinate officer is doubly effective if the commanding officer delivering it sounds like he is more bear than man.

Knows how to THROW DOWN! Adama may be old, but he is incredibly scrappy. He survived a nearly fatal gunshot wound to the abdomen, and successfully beat down someone half his age in a boxing ring. Anytime the going got tough, Bill's fists got going and didn't stop until he was the last humanoid lifeform standing.

That steely glare This is a man who basically invented glaring. One sideways glare from those icy blue eyes and you know you are in deep doo doo. With or without the glasses that is one look that most certainly would kill if looks could.

Fatherly love One of the higher ranking officers on Galactica is Bill Adama's son, Lee. Though their relationship is strained at first, the two quickly make up for lost time due to the tragedy they are facing together. However, Bill's love doesn't stop there. He repeatedly calls Starbuck his daughter, but it's clear that he cares for his whole crew a great deal. There are a few times in the series when Adama notes this type of connection with his subordinates as a weakness, but it would be easy to argue that this was one of his greatest strengths.

The sheer scope of what Admiral Adama had to accomplish would be enough to make my puny, spineless psyche crumble. Had I found myself in his shoes, I would have handed over my rank insignia and crawled into the nearest hole to drown my sorrows in Ambrosia. Adama ventured forth with the last remaining 50,000 members of humanity and set out on a path to find them a new home; a planet called “Earth” that most people believed to be a myth. The obstacles the universe threw in his path were too numerous to count, but with Bill Adama showed us all that with enough faith, perseverance, bloody knuckles, and love we can accomplish anything.


Riding the Flying Rainbow Unicorn into the Sunset of Life

I was born for it...

I'm disrespectful to dirt!

I can't even do laundry like a normal person! Because every time I go to use my "Super Washing Soda" I INSTANTLY think of that Simpsons episode where Homer finds out that his likeness is being used for a Japanese detergent called Mr. Sparkle.

And because I'm slightly OCD about the whole thing, I have to yell, "Mr. Sparklllllllllle" the way that it sounds on the commercial every time too.

I usually go for it full volume if nobody is home.

But when we have guests, as we do currently, I sometimes wonder if they are hiding their valuables after they hear the crazy lady in the laundry closet whispering a long drawn out, "Mr. Sparklllllle" to herself in a Japanese accent.

They go to bed at night and they're like, "Audrey really likes to do laundry."

"Yeah, plus I think she might be a little bit racist."

Yes. These are the things I worry about.


WBFG Ep. #2 - "Nobody Expects the Second Episode!"

WBFG Ep. #2 - "Nobody Expects the Second Episode!"
(Featuring the music of the supremely talented Five Year Mission)

In which...

 Audrey learns about Rule #31 of the Internet. 
Bill Bryson's destiny is explained.
Aron learns about Spock's Earthican literary heritage.
Betazed Leisure Wear. 

If you have a question, comment, or topic suggestion you can send us a tweet, or you can email us at [bfg.podcast {at} gmail {dot} com].

And if you like the show, be sure to swing by our iTunes page to rate us and leave a comment!


Nobody Does Geek Valentine's Day Cookies Like Heather

This is one of guest writer Heather's annual fangirl holiday traditions. See some of her cookies from years past HERE and HERE. (The lady can make a pretty killer jack-o-lantern too.)

I think "We Eats It" is my favorite from this year!

What are your fangirl holiday traditions? Leave a comment and let us know!


WBFG Ep. #1 - "It Has Begun!"

WBFG: EP. #1 - "It Has Begun!" 
(Featuring the music of the supremely talented Five Year Mission)

In which two high school friends, Aron and Audrey, who haven't spoken on the phone or seen each other for thirteen years attempt to catch up. On everything. All at once. 

In which Aron and Audrey also make no preparations at all and instead choose to jump into this whole podcasting thing completely off the cuff. 

And also, there's coffee. And discussion of high school, politics, religion and feelings. 

All of the feelings.   


1. Why is there only one Vulcan hairstyle?
2. What's the one word that best describes the Klingon Christmas Carol?
3.  What would a zombie apocalypse look like if we replaced the zombies with jocks?
4. How to Avoid Thinking You Invented Choc-Ola and ThinkGeek.

Next Week:

1. Aron and Audrey's favorite podcasts.
2. Why You Should Be VERY Cautious When Looking up Buffy-inspired Fan-Fiction on the internet.
3. Plenty of TREK talk, feminist and otherwise.
4. And more...

Do you have a question or a comment for the next show? 
Email us at [bfg.podcast {at} gmail {dot} com], or send us a tweet.

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My Attitude This Week

"Are you ready? Then let's go get 'em!"

"Dirty Rotten Scoundrels"

I just woke up with that specific movie moment in my head.

Hooray for subliminal encouragement sponsored by a lifetime of movie gorging!


In Which Heather Bursts your LOTR-Scented Fantasy Bubble

As I age, I find myself more and more affected by smells. The clean scent of ozone in the air makes cleaning house a happy chore. Eau de litter box makes baking cookies a mediocre task at best. The sense of smell evokes the strongest memories, and makes me wonder: Do elves smell nice? 

And if I’m going to talk about elves, would this font be more appropriate? (I looked for “Elvish”, but this is the closest I found. For the record, Word 2010 also comes sans “Klingon”. Alas, I love my italics too much to change to a font that doesn’t due them justice. Anyway, where was I?)

If I were to journey to Middle Earth (Shut up! It could happen!), what would the natives smell like? Would their powerful B.O. precede them into a room? Would it linger on their departure?

My first experience with Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy led me to believe Aragorn was a straight up hottie, but in retrospect, I have my doubts. Sure, he looked great, but what he smell like? 

Do the men of Middle Earth even have access to deodorant? Mr. Jackson is far too classy to show them going off the path to take a leak in the woods, but you know they did. (OMG! I’ll bet they didn’t even have toilet paper! No, I can’t go there…) So dare I hope they had Forest Fresh Battle Axe for men in those travel packs of theirs? Man-sweat may appear attractive, but it can shrivel your nose hairs!

I can picture all those hot, sweaty battle scenes even now. Aragorn swings Anduril (that’s his sword, peeps) in an arc, his whole body following through on the motion. His hair whips across his face, sending droplets of sweat flying dramatically across the screen. That stringy hair may look sexy on camera, but when’s the last time he had a good shampoo? I’ll bet his scalp smells like a teenaged boy’s favorite hat, all sour and oily. He needs to lather, rinse, repeat repeat repeat!

I don’t recall Legolas ever looking like he needed to improve upon his personal hygiene habits. And you won’t catch Elrond looking “not so fresh”. Which leads me back to the question: 

Do elves smell nice? I bet they do. I have to believe that.


Heather Cichos is a staunch supporter of mandatory Underoos for adults. She flosses religiously and believes her dentist is secretly trying to kill her. She doesn't like to buy sympathy cards because they don't make funny ones, and hasn't been bungee jumping with Mel Brooks in ages.

Okay campers, rise and shine!

And don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there!

Happy Groundhog Day nerds! Usually this time of year, I whine about the temperature. Since I live in a sub-tropical climate now, I probably shouldn't complain. Although, it is a chilly 70 degrees right now...

It's pretty much the only weather-related holiday of the year. Just let me have this one.