I was going to write a whole "hilarious" blog about coming up with new self-deprecating nicknames for myself in my thirties. Nicknames like "A More Annoying Zooey Deschanel with Shorter Hair", "Posh Spice if she liked carbs" or "The Ron Swanson of Christianity". (It would take too long to explain.)
Then I watched the documentary MissRepresentation and felt really guilty for how often I talk negatively about my appearance here on this blog, even for the sake of jokes. So I shall de-nickname myself. For now.
Or maybe I could generate kinder, more appropriate titles like "A Slightly More Feminine Garrison Keillor" or "Future Comic Book Writer for Vertigo Whose Appearance Doesn't Factor Into or Measure How Talented or Hard-Working She Is".
Which is all to say, this was my birthday song this year.