2/21/18

What Made You LOVE Being a Geek Again?

Let there be love. In your fandoms, your geekdom,
your heart...whatever. Just embrace it.
I posted this on my personal facebook page the other day, but I think it bears repeating here. 

I'm also really curious what your answer is to the question at the end of this blog. As the brilliant Karina Longworth likes to say, join me, won't you?

~

I'm watching Abrams' 2009 Star Trek again while I wait for a work phone call. Man alive, this movie is a thrill ride. I saw it six times in the theater. Not my record, but close. It holds up remarkably well. 

Pacing, plot, direction; everything feels so right. Even the score and sound design, no - especially the score and sound design, resonate with me on such a deep level. This was the movie that pivoted me from unhappy cynic back to fangirl. I will ALWAYS be a Trek fangirl. That never lapsed. But this movie adjusted me to thinking positively about my fandoms. 

After this, I chose excitement instead of dread or the fear that someone would "get it wrong". It pushed me to write my own stuff instead of pinning all my hopes on other people's creations. (A process nudged along by a great editor I was lucky to work with a few times. That's you, Jeff of Geek Monthly. Thank you, in case I never said it.) I'm still breaking rocks to get through my imposter syndrome and actually show the world what kind of comics and movies I write. But every day, I chip away. Every time I try to quit because of low self-esteem, I come back at it a little harder. And I fuel myself with what I love. And that sure is something.

I remember being so bummed out after Crystal Skull that I actually cried in the car on the way home. I know, I know. Get a life. I will be in love with Indiana Jones forever and ever and nothing will change that. I still want to be a globetrotting adventurer and a tough dame in a gorgeous satin dress when I grow up. 

In fact, I think the first act of Crystal Skull is still a complete blast. (I swear that pun was an accident.) But that was the moment, the actual moment, when I turned into a culture brat. I spent a year of my life spewing sarcasm and bitterness after that. And you know what? It sucked. It wasn't fun. People didn't enjoy talking to me about movies anymore and they were totally justified.

Then Star Trek happened. I shifted. I finally got the communicator tattoo I always wanted. I bought an Uhura costume. I started the great TNG rewatch. (It was on DVD back then, so if I fell asleep while watching, I'd wake to the pleasant thrum of the warp core from the DVD menu.) I started to have fun again. 

So thank you, J.J. Abrams. If only we knew then what we know now about everything else you'd create. Thanks, dude. I owe you one too. Big time. Sorry I called you dude though...

People who don't understand what it's like to be a geek, like, deep down in your epidermis...in your soul...I fully realize this entire post will sound like madness. But for my people, the ones who know exactly what I'm talking about right now, was there ever a time when you loved something so much, it restored your joy or created a lasting change in your personal life?


My favorite bit of score from the movie. And yours?

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